omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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