I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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