so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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