Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
