you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
