Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
