Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
