Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Come share oat with me in your robe
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