porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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