Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
