I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
