I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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