Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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