Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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