Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
