Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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