But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
