he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
