I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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