hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
