He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
