when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
