Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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