Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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