does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
