i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
