Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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