no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
