In America we eat man semen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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