I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
