Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
