Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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