who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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