so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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