I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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