Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
