Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
