I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
