Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
