If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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