isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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