You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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