it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
