when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
