This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
