Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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