Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
