I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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