Moan for me like Helen Keller
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
