i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
