Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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