Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
