please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude i'm inner monologue high
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just high enough for therapy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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