I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
