I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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