Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
